Saturdays are nice because Jon is home and we can split up and spend some quality one on one time with the boys. Sometimes we all go swimming together at the YMCA which is lots of fun but exhausting for all of us. I will try to get a picture on here of Jasper in the pool the next time we go because it is the cutest thing, he has a great time.
Today I took Jonah to Kidspot, an indoor play area, and we met up with some friends. They have fun there and are very occupied. JoJo will spend most of his time at the train tables, which is his favorite thing to do here too... trains! He makes trains with the chairs in the living room and we all get a spot, with a blanket and a pillow, and we all have to wear a hat. It's pretty funny. He also loves to make forts, if I have the time and the patience to make a good fort it can be the most fun for him, and Jasper loves being in there too.
Jonah's vocabulary and talking ability continue to amaze me as it expands every day. He has been working hard on pronouns lately. He mosly says "my' for I, but is starting to figure out how to say things correctly. Today I asked him if he had a wet diaper, and he said "no mommy, no wet diaper" then he changed it to "no, my diaper is not wet" then to "I do not have a wet diaper", well of course he did have a wet diaper, but I was very impressed with his evolving verbal skills.
Yesterday we had a little friend, Lexi, and her mom come over for a bit, I noticed that Lexi says my too "my do it!" it's so cute to hear their baby language. It's especially cute to hear them commnuicating with each other and figuring things out on their own.
Jonah has a new T-ball set that he got from his grandparents, and he loves it. He has pretty good aim, he says "hey batter batter batter swing batter!" he smacks the ball, then he throws down his hat (which is an essential part of his baseball game, we all have to be wearing hats) and runs the bases. Somewhere he has seen how the batter throws off his helmet, and it has to be upside down. When he gets back to "home base" he puts his hat back on, it's pretty funny.
Last night Jonah and I ate some thai food take out, he was loving it. He ate sooo much and enjoyed all the new tastes. It is fun to see how he responds to something new, and all the new words he learns just from introducing a new type of food. At one point we were counting peices of tofu, and he said to me "one and two makes three!". Wow! yes that is true. I don't think he really understands what that means but I thought it was really neat that he remembered that, although I'm not sure from where. He was so happy telling me that "after ten is "eleven!" and after that is "twelve" thirteen is harder to say so he usually skips to 16, 17, 19, "twentyteen!"
Speaking of learning, we are constantly refiguring our decision to send Jasper to Preschool.
The one he just started is a class for kids with special needs, although he is the only one with such involved and physical needs. The other kids can mostly walk and talk, eat and use the potty normally. Most of them are not obviously special needs, but they have something going on that qualifies them for the program. He loves to be around other kids, and the teacher and aids seem great. We are just wondering if he will be getting the best kind of learning and physical input if he is there, as opposed to staying home. My time and patience is somewhat limited, although I would like to spend my time with him all day on the floor, I do have another child, personal needs, and a house to take care of. It is nice to have help with these things, but it seems like there is always something to do. Jon is working with Patricia (our feldenkrais practitioner, learning specalist) on developing a ciriculum for Jasper that would help to guide and direct any person who is working with him in developing his brain connections and body abilities.
I see at school that they want him to be involved in doing things like the other kids do, such as art projects, etc. I don't really see Jasper enjoying this or getting much out of it, and I am learning about how a lot of the things we do with kids with CP are for us, the adults, to feel more comfortable. I also don't want Jasper to be left out of things because he has a disability, but there is a fine line between including him, and forcing him to try to do something that he is sure to fail at. No one likes to fail, and setting a child up for faliure can be damaging, even if we end up with a little assisted art project to hang on the wall. I care more about the process of the project and if Jasper is learning and enjoying himself, after all that is what arts and crafts are all about at that age. There are more important things for Jas to be learning like how to roll over, or how to push up, or how to get his hands in his mouth, hold on to something, or swallow different textures. A lot of the things he needs to work on will not be available to him in a regular classroom, or even a special one. The day moves quickly and is very scheduled, the things he learns best from come from slowing down and moving at his own pace, finding things that strike his interest and going with it for as long as he is engaged, and not trying to fit him into the mold of the "typical child".
So the question comes up for me, is inclusion really the best option? Or is it better to have a place where a child like Jasper can develop at his own rate, without the comparison of the other children. Even at home I see how a typically developing child can run the roost because they are verbal, demanding and requiring of immediate attention, while Jasper may be whinng, but he is not running toward the street or tugging on your pants asking for help with a puzzle or a toy. And for most adults, hate to say it, but it is more fun for us to play the way that Jonah plays. Granted that when you get into Jasper's world it can be even more rewarding, to make him smile or laugh, or to see even the smallest light go off as Jasper learns something new, is incomparable to our normal playtime, but it requires time, attention, and nothing else going on.
I have visited a wonderful school for kids with Cerebral Palsy in Burlingame called Avalon Academy (they have a website) and it is amazing. They use Feldenkrais methods (all the staff is trained in the Anat Baniel Method for children) and they also meet the educational needs of the children where they are.
The child with CP who is learning math but can't see well benefits from enlarged projection on the wall for instruction, the child who can't sit up alone is allowed to do an art project lying down, painting on the wall next to them. They have every technology available to them, yet they are allowed to be who they are, and get plenty of floor time, and a daily movement lesson. There is a feeling of love and community that I have never seen in a mainstream Special Ed class. When I asked the founders about the idea of inclusion or having the kids be around other "normal" children, one woman who is also a mother of a child with CP said something pretty profound.
She told me that she had the same concern, but that in reality the kids here were her son's real friends. They had other kids around visiting her other children, but that the ones who really shared a lasting connection were his classmates there at the school. They were kids who were all in a similar state of living, and undoubtedly share compassion and companionship through that.
They also don't think of each other as "different" they are all just individuals, who in a lot of ways are alot alike. This made a lot of sense to me and it seemed like the kids and their families were more able to focus on their actual strengths and abilities without an extraneuously implemented timetable.
This being said, I can also see a good argument for inclusion. Jon seems to be insenced by the forum he just attended and is excited to share his thoughts with me and the educational system.
I think that the basis of state funded education needs to be drastically changed before inclusion will be the best fit for someone like Jasper. But that this shift is really needed not only for kids with special needs, but for all children. The outdated system we have in place was based on the industrial revolution and designed to teach children to become factory workers, who listen to direction and not cause problems, hence don't think for yourself, or learn in your own special way. When I was getting my master's in teaching I was drawn toward more contemporary forms of education like brain-based learning and constructivism. These ideals can allow for passionate teachers and learners working together to create a new world. It can be so very exciting, if only our higher powers would support these amazing teachers who are doing things differently. The love of teaching is often beaten out of such wonderful educators because they are constantly battling the forces that be, and having to conform to the ways that are more comfortable to politicians and those that fund public education.
Even in my own limited experience with the public school system, and now with Jasper's placement in the public preschool, I can see the immense influence that the mighty dollar has on our kids opportunities. It's sad but true, and it makes me feel kind of sick to know that "school" is not always in the best interest of these emerging brains and delicatlely developing emotional systems.
I hope that the surge of change will continue and we will see a drastic difference in the way our children are educated in the next few years. I have a feeling though that it is going to happen, just not for a long time. Change is slow, but it is essential that we begin to match the changes in our world with how we teach our children to navigate this amazing new interconnected planet.
As they say "those who CAN.... Teach!" Horray for our teachers, they are certainly not doing it for the money, so let's give them our support in doing the best job they can given the circumstances. Good luck!
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