Rainy days have kept us inside this weekend. We are all a little stir-crazy and cabin fevered. Jasper, who is least happy about being out in a rain storm was actually the one who went out in it most. First to an appointment which he was too late for and had to get back in the van just after getting out, and then to swimming with his daddy. Yesterday I took him in the Softub and we had a great time out in the light rain, just relaxing and him kicking his legs so much. I proposed to him the idea of seeing how far he was swimming with an underwater pedomiter(?) and he loved the idea. I said he could clock how many miles he swam in the hot tub and then imagine he had been swimming the ocean and how far he could get. We had fun with that idea. He was using his arms to splash me and then laugh like crazy when he got water in my face. I want to bring him in everyday! We are just pretty busy with daily life and the whole process of getting ready and getting in and out and then cleaned off and dressed again is a lot more laborious for Jasper than it is for the other kids, and it makes a wet mess of the house and uses up all the towels. I want to consider moving it to the deck but Jon is against that idea and says they are ugly to look at... ok. Aside from having fun he also reopened an old wound on his toe by either kicking the jets or when coming inside on the metal door jamb.
His toe was gushing blood and it looked like a river of red flowing into the drain of the shower, yikes!
He has also been banging his lip on the side of his bed sometimes at night and bleeding all over his bed. Poor guy wakes up with a fat lip and a big bloody smear on the padded side rails of his special bed. We have tried putting a pillow or padding on that side but he somehow moves it and gets under or over and then he gets upset by the pillow being over his head!
Baby Jianna is three months old and I am reminded of a time when Juniper was that age and we took her with us to San Francisco to meet up with Aunt Gina and Uncle Greg and stay in Gina's friend's beautiful apartment. She was just this little thing all swaddled at night like our baby now. I can hardly believe how big and strong she is now. She complains of stomach aches a lot so that is something I need to bring up with our pediatrician next time. I give her probiotics, and I got some special digestive tea to help soothe her but she seems to complain almost every time she eats. She also sometimes has dark circles under her eyes indicating a possible allergy. We are thinking it may be dairy but it also could be wheat. I think the next step is to try the elimination diet with her and see if the stomach aches get better.
Today they are having 100's day at school. They sent her home on friday with a piece of purple plastic that was supposed to become a cape for the 100th day of school. Everyone is supposed to put stuff on the cape, guess how many things? yes, 100! So before I even knew anything about it Juniper had set to work making her cape in a hurry, with tape and glue and all sorts of different small objects that probably did not end up making 100 things. She lost interest as it got torn and crumpled because she had taped some bows with masking tape and it was getting a little messy. Needless to say she forgot the cape this morning and I had to bring it to her. But I could tell she was happy to have her wrinkled torn cape with pretty jewels and bows and sparkles on it rather than no cape at all. So I had to console myself that I let her do her own work and she was proud of herself for doing it herself and it doesn't have to be perfect for it to be pretty and fun! (Hopefully they wont have to count all the objects!)
On another school related note, Jonah had a really hard time with his homework this week. The class was given a week to complete a research project on an endangered insect of their choice.
He was supposed to take notes and then turn in a rough draft with all the parts of an essay. He wants to do things well and correctly and is perhaps a bit of a perfectionist, which also means that if he doesn't think he will be able to complete it in time he doesn't want to really even try.
Jonah's class went to Coloma as a part of their study on the Gold Rush and they stayed overnight and acted as gold miners would have. Maybe that also included coming into contact with some nasty germs because about a week later he woke up in the night saying his hand was hurting. I felt it and realized he had some swelling and hardness under the skin at the base of his palm. We gave him some ice and he went back to bed. In the morning his hand was obviously infected with a red angry swollen bumpy part and then red streaks heading toward his elbow. That scared me so I made and appointment and took him to the doctor. We were already headed there for Jianna's checkup so were able to get them seen together. Jonah is now taking antibiotics and the red streaks are gone but he still has this gross infection with pus under the skin. So he feels like he should not have to do his homework and just be allowed to watch TV and play video games because his hand hurts and he was allowed to stay home from school for a day and "rest" (watch TV and play video games). There was a Berenstein bear book in the waiting room of the pharmacy about the exact thing that happened. Brother bear was sick and was so busy having fun at home that he didn't bother to work on his homework and when he went back to school he flunked the pop quiz, maybe that inspired Jonah to blow off his homework and blame it on his hand. Oh the trials of being an elementary school student! On the upside both Jonah and Juniper have been having fun with some new workbooks I got Juniper to work on her Kindergarten skills. She is taking it very seriously and working all the time on them, she's already half way through the second book and it's only been three days! Jonah is helping her by reading the directions and making sure she is doing it right. Very sweet!
I read a posting at Jillian's preschool the other day for dealing with misbehavior and I have been trying it out with my kids, it seems especially to be working wonders with Jonah. It goes like this: DADD....
D for Disapprove ("we don't do that in this family" and mean it)
A for affirm ( remind them what they do right "you are often so helpful"),
D for Discover (find out what is going on or why they did it "what is this really about?")
D for "Do-Over" (what could we do differently next time?)
Good stuff!
Love you!! xoxo
Monday, February 10, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Hello 2014!
Here we are already in 2014! Wow how fast the time goes! Now we are a family of 7 people and it is getting more interesting all the time!
Jillian is so cute, she will be two in a couple of months and I can hardly believe that is true. She is still my baby! I am amazed lately at her expanding vocabulary and her easy social nature. Yesterday we all went to the Farmer's Market (Jasper stayed home with Irene who was here on Sunday). Jillian found the sidewalk chalk and was engrossed in the pictures she and others were making in the square. She was so focused on her work but at the same time was doing it together with the others (mostly adults). She offered different colors to her new friends and traded and moved around, sometimes lying belly down on the pavement with her nose inches away from the chalk drawing. When her favorite comrades in chalk left she recruited new members (young scruffy single males and older grey-haired gentlemen seemed to be her main targets).
Other excitements at the Farmer's Market included:
For a few minutes all of the big kids were missing. One minute they were playing tag, climbing trees and running around like banshees, then by and by I hear they are missing, no where to be found. Two dads were searching the perimeter and one dad is telling me it's not like his son to just run off without telling him.... I said that's not like mine either. I last saw Juniper near her favorite climbing tree, I knew they were here somewhere so I walked toward the tree and saw the hunched backs of a few familiar jackets under a table with rocks and gems on it and a long draping table cloth, I believe they were all looking at one kids ipod and had no idea the parents were looking for them.
In other news, Jillian decided it was a good time to try her independence at crossing the busy street by herself. She saw a family with a stroller crossing at the crosswalk and was following along with them. From across the way I saw where she was headed (Daddy was on duty at the time and had just turned away for a few seconds) I yelled her name and then his name and he ran over and scooped her up just as she made it to the curb! It was a little excitement for everyone watching. Jon said "she was already making eye contact with the drivers..." well, I hope that's the last time we have that happen!!
As I sit here now Jillian is insisting on going in the hot tub so she is naked, which makes for a great impromptu potty training session. I'm not sure she understands that it's gross to put the potty seat upside down on her head like a hat. She is ready to potty-train but I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm also wearing my sleeping/nursing baby in the sling so I'm reminding the screaming toddler about inside voices which she mostly disregards but does think is funny. The hard part about potty-training is the time before they are able to realize they are taking a crap on the carpet. They look down and they're like oh! there's some poop! I think i will squish it between my toes or maybe spread some under the table for fun... hopefully the dealing with massive amounts of excrement stage of my life will lessen as time goes on!
So....While I was writing that guess what Jillian did... ta-da!! she pooped in the little potty! I was typing away and I hear her say, "uh oh" which is what we all say when she poops in the bath, shower, on the floor or anywhere but the diaper. I jumped and clapped and said yes yes! that's the place to do it, not uh-oh, high five!! Good work Jillian, now put your diaper back on!!
Jillian is so cute, she will be two in a couple of months and I can hardly believe that is true. She is still my baby! I am amazed lately at her expanding vocabulary and her easy social nature. Yesterday we all went to the Farmer's Market (Jasper stayed home with Irene who was here on Sunday). Jillian found the sidewalk chalk and was engrossed in the pictures she and others were making in the square. She was so focused on her work but at the same time was doing it together with the others (mostly adults). She offered different colors to her new friends and traded and moved around, sometimes lying belly down on the pavement with her nose inches away from the chalk drawing. When her favorite comrades in chalk left she recruited new members (young scruffy single males and older grey-haired gentlemen seemed to be her main targets).
Other excitements at the Farmer's Market included:
For a few minutes all of the big kids were missing. One minute they were playing tag, climbing trees and running around like banshees, then by and by I hear they are missing, no where to be found. Two dads were searching the perimeter and one dad is telling me it's not like his son to just run off without telling him.... I said that's not like mine either. I last saw Juniper near her favorite climbing tree, I knew they were here somewhere so I walked toward the tree and saw the hunched backs of a few familiar jackets under a table with rocks and gems on it and a long draping table cloth, I believe they were all looking at one kids ipod and had no idea the parents were looking for them.
In other news, Jillian decided it was a good time to try her independence at crossing the busy street by herself. She saw a family with a stroller crossing at the crosswalk and was following along with them. From across the way I saw where she was headed (Daddy was on duty at the time and had just turned away for a few seconds) I yelled her name and then his name and he ran over and scooped her up just as she made it to the curb! It was a little excitement for everyone watching. Jon said "she was already making eye contact with the drivers..." well, I hope that's the last time we have that happen!!
As I sit here now Jillian is insisting on going in the hot tub so she is naked, which makes for a great impromptu potty training session. I'm not sure she understands that it's gross to put the potty seat upside down on her head like a hat. She is ready to potty-train but I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm also wearing my sleeping/nursing baby in the sling so I'm reminding the screaming toddler about inside voices which she mostly disregards but does think is funny. The hard part about potty-training is the time before they are able to realize they are taking a crap on the carpet. They look down and they're like oh! there's some poop! I think i will squish it between my toes or maybe spread some under the table for fun... hopefully the dealing with massive amounts of excrement stage of my life will lessen as time goes on!
So....While I was writing that guess what Jillian did... ta-da!! she pooped in the little potty! I was typing away and I hear her say, "uh oh" which is what we all say when she poops in the bath, shower, on the floor or anywhere but the diaper. I jumped and clapped and said yes yes! that's the place to do it, not uh-oh, high five!! Good work Jillian, now put your diaper back on!!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Thankfuls
The holiday craze is passed and the kids are back to school today, and I feel a bit dazed. Now to pack up the tree, take down the wreath and un-christmas the house. Whatever fun is in the decorating is reverse in the un decorating, although it does make the house feel less cluttered and decidedly cleaner when all of those holiday nick knacks dissapear and the house goes back to its regular self. But when is the best time to do it?
Usually I do it all myself and everyone gets home and then after a while someone will exclaim... " hey the Christmas tree is gone!".. or it will be little by little, dragging out an already slightly painful ritual. We love Christmas time around here so its a little sad when we have to say goodbye. But we can keep giving and singing throughout the year anyway!
We are super grateful to all the family who sent gifts and fattened the trimmings under the tree this year, it sure felt nice that Santa Clause was alive and well and sending gifts through the mail! I got slippers from Aunt Patty and a pedicure from Aunt Barbara so my feet will be pampered this winter! Aunties Rock!
Jon and I are so thankful to the support we have recieved from family members like Gina and Greg Wegis, Bernice and John Gonzales, Harold Appleton, Patricia Canfield, James Gonzales, Marcelina Gonzales and the whole Bakersfield Clan Gonzales, Behill, Ramos, etc. Kim Peterson, Chris Combs and Gloria Kitner and families, and to so many friends like Jennifer Weisbrich, Erica and Paul Solano, Megan Watt, Kimberly and Sebastian Stinson, Patricia Flora, Matt and Jennifer O'Donnell, Sue Davis and family, Michael Taylor, Michael Ratikan, friends from Elsie Allen, Ukestars, and so many more.
We are so blessed to have such a wonderful and diverse community here in Sebastopol and Sonoma County,( the allergies are the only thing I don't love). The ocean and hills and beautiful views are wonderful but it is the people who make this county a very nice place to live. We are lucky to have been born here in North America, in Sonoma County and so forth, so we have a chance to show the world what happy cows can do (we are the cows).
Usually I do it all myself and everyone gets home and then after a while someone will exclaim... " hey the Christmas tree is gone!".. or it will be little by little, dragging out an already slightly painful ritual. We love Christmas time around here so its a little sad when we have to say goodbye. But we can keep giving and singing throughout the year anyway!
We are super grateful to all the family who sent gifts and fattened the trimmings under the tree this year, it sure felt nice that Santa Clause was alive and well and sending gifts through the mail! I got slippers from Aunt Patty and a pedicure from Aunt Barbara so my feet will be pampered this winter! Aunties Rock!
Jon and I are so thankful to the support we have recieved from family members like Gina and Greg Wegis, Bernice and John Gonzales, Harold Appleton, Patricia Canfield, James Gonzales, Marcelina Gonzales and the whole Bakersfield Clan Gonzales, Behill, Ramos, etc. Kim Peterson, Chris Combs and Gloria Kitner and families, and to so many friends like Jennifer Weisbrich, Erica and Paul Solano, Megan Watt, Kimberly and Sebastian Stinson, Patricia Flora, Matt and Jennifer O'Donnell, Sue Davis and family, Michael Taylor, Michael Ratikan, friends from Elsie Allen, Ukestars, and so many more.
We are so blessed to have such a wonderful and diverse community here in Sebastopol and Sonoma County,( the allergies are the only thing I don't love). The ocean and hills and beautiful views are wonderful but it is the people who make this county a very nice place to live. We are lucky to have been born here in North America, in Sonoma County and so forth, so we have a chance to show the world what happy cows can do (we are the cows).
Harmonious Moments??
I sit here, at the computer, the baby is finally asleep. She has not been sleeping well lately and it's meant less and less getting done around here because she is a full time job on her own!
SO now I should be warping into superspeed and cleaning the house from top to bottom without making a sound that may wake up said sleeping baby. But I am paralyzed instead and I look from heaping pile of dishes to heaping pile of garbage and recycling to heaping pile of dirty laundry to heaping pile of clean laundry to heaping pile of kids books and papers to be sorted to heaping pile of bills to be paid to heaping pile of dirty diapers to dispose of and I just can't help but cry and wish that I had a magic wand that would make it all just go away!
Ok so now that I've got that out of my system... I do know that we all have these things to do and times to be places and reasons why we must nag our kids to do their homework and clean their rooms and stop fighting and turn off the t.v. and eat their vegetables and go play outside... and it all begins to sound very cliche' when I see it written down. Nevertheless, (love that random word :) it is so true in my house and I think many others, but not all the time. There are these times when I look around and I go, "wow!" I am the luckiest person in the world! I am so blessed with this amazing family!!"
What is the trick to having a happy harmonious home? Is there one, or many? I can't obviously be the one to answer this question because I am the one posing it, but I am happy to ask my friends and family and see what they come up with, as well as observing the times that are going well for me and my family and what events transpired to lead up to the hypothetical "harmonious moment."
I need to do something with this mind that I spent so many years using, and now I am getting brain-numb because I haven't been putting my brain to enough good use. I love being a mommy but I have sadly gotten a case of mommy insanity and I can't remember how to act like a normal person. Am I alone in this, or is the whole world just disposed to being zombies once they become daddies and mommies?
I will get going on the research, the questions being posed are...
"What factors are essential to the harmonious moments in your family?"
"Will you share some memories of harmonious moments in your family"
"Do you know where to find a magic wand?... seriously."
That is all for now! This is going to be fun, and rewarding because we are looking for the good stuff!
Until next time!
SO now I should be warping into superspeed and cleaning the house from top to bottom without making a sound that may wake up said sleeping baby. But I am paralyzed instead and I look from heaping pile of dishes to heaping pile of garbage and recycling to heaping pile of dirty laundry to heaping pile of clean laundry to heaping pile of kids books and papers to be sorted to heaping pile of bills to be paid to heaping pile of dirty diapers to dispose of and I just can't help but cry and wish that I had a magic wand that would make it all just go away!
Ok so now that I've got that out of my system... I do know that we all have these things to do and times to be places and reasons why we must nag our kids to do their homework and clean their rooms and stop fighting and turn off the t.v. and eat their vegetables and go play outside... and it all begins to sound very cliche' when I see it written down. Nevertheless, (love that random word :) it is so true in my house and I think many others, but not all the time. There are these times when I look around and I go, "wow!" I am the luckiest person in the world! I am so blessed with this amazing family!!"
I need to do something with this mind that I spent so many years using, and now I am getting brain-numb because I haven't been putting my brain to enough good use. I love being a mommy but I have sadly gotten a case of mommy insanity and I can't remember how to act like a normal person. Am I alone in this, or is the whole world just disposed to being zombies once they become daddies and mommies?
I will get going on the research, the questions being posed are...
"What factors are essential to the harmonious moments in your family?"
"Will you share some memories of harmonious moments in your family"
"Do you know where to find a magic wand?... seriously."
That is all for now! This is going to be fun, and rewarding because we are looking for the good stuff!
Until next time!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
sixth sense, mommywise
Sometimes I will have a feeling like a jolt of panic which makes me go check on whichever child I am concerned about, usually the baby (almost 9mo.) right now. Sometimes there is some cause for alarm (she has woken up and is crying), and sometimes it is a false alarm and I am relieved. But the times I get that feeling and there is something wrong I am sure glad for my over-zealous fight or flight response.
For instance, about 20 minutes ago I was in the garage loading the laundry with a bunch of new clothes that the kids got for Christmas and I was taking the tags off so it was taking longer than the usual dump in dirty clothes and close the lid. I knew that baby Jillian was with her big sister and probably sitting on her lap in the living room just a few feet away so I wasn't concerned, but then all of a sudden I needed to see her and stopped mid load and opened the door to see baby sitting on Juniper's lap as predicted but with a funny look on her face, and I was just in time to see her spew a pretty good sized spit up which is not exactly normal for her at this age. I picked her up immediately and did a finger sweep as I quickly realized she was halfway choking on something. On the second or third gagging finger swipe I pulled out an entire live oak leaf (hard, shiny with pokey points on the edges but small enough to get to the back of her throat). Crisis averted! She was unaffected and was laughing and babbling within seconds, and the kids were not too worried either, but it made me realize that for one I can't leave her where there may be stray leaves, and two I should always listen to that inside voice that says, "something is not right"... because even if it is wrong 9 times, if you listen the 10th time and it is correct then you have used your intuition to save you a great deal of pain and possible suffering!
I have also been using a gentler tactic with both Juniper and Jonah and trying to use my intuition to sense what they need to feel better when they are melting down. I am reading Raising your Spirited Child right now and I am learning about temperment and how it affects behavior. Also I am redefining the labels that we give our children especially when we are annoyed and conveying them in a positive light (dramatic instead of loud, curious instead of nosy, exuberant instead of wild) and it helps me and other adults be more appreciative of their beauty and zest and have more patience for them because it is part of their unique nature.
For instance, about 20 minutes ago I was in the garage loading the laundry with a bunch of new clothes that the kids got for Christmas and I was taking the tags off so it was taking longer than the usual dump in dirty clothes and close the lid. I knew that baby Jillian was with her big sister and probably sitting on her lap in the living room just a few feet away so I wasn't concerned, but then all of a sudden I needed to see her and stopped mid load and opened the door to see baby sitting on Juniper's lap as predicted but with a funny look on her face, and I was just in time to see her spew a pretty good sized spit up which is not exactly normal for her at this age. I picked her up immediately and did a finger sweep as I quickly realized she was halfway choking on something. On the second or third gagging finger swipe I pulled out an entire live oak leaf (hard, shiny with pokey points on the edges but small enough to get to the back of her throat). Crisis averted! She was unaffected and was laughing and babbling within seconds, and the kids were not too worried either, but it made me realize that for one I can't leave her where there may be stray leaves, and two I should always listen to that inside voice that says, "something is not right"... because even if it is wrong 9 times, if you listen the 10th time and it is correct then you have used your intuition to save you a great deal of pain and possible suffering!
I have also been using a gentler tactic with both Juniper and Jonah and trying to use my intuition to sense what they need to feel better when they are melting down. I am reading Raising your Spirited Child right now and I am learning about temperment and how it affects behavior. Also I am redefining the labels that we give our children especially when we are annoyed and conveying them in a positive light (dramatic instead of loud, curious instead of nosy, exuberant instead of wild) and it helps me and other adults be more appreciative of their beauty and zest and have more patience for them because it is part of their unique nature.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Digging a hole in the sand...
What does a stay at home mom do all day?? We pick up poop, wipe up food, scrape off mud and get paid in hugs!
Some days I look around and I see a mess, there are crunchy things on the floor of the dining area, there is some new coloring on some fabric or some wood furniture with permanent pen. There are sticky spots on the hardwood floor, and greasy fingerprints all over the french doors. There is mud on the hallway carpet in the shape of rainboots, and clothes of various types everywhere, tossed off from being too wet, or muddy or itchy or the wrong color or just because it is now time to be a princess. But when I step away from my role as unpaid maid and housemanager slash nanny slash gardener slash... you get the idea, when I step away from all that and see the remains, the signs of life from four very active and usually happy young children, all the sticky handprints become something more valuable than gold, the muddy rainboots better than any stocks I could own and the couch that has I heart you written in green pen more comfy than any brand new white leather couch... ok who am I kidding I want that couch. Anyway! the point is that the mess is the by-product of love and I wouldn't change that for the world!
Now I better get going and pick up Juniper from her pre-school and then come home and get to cooking and cleaning because those are just a couple of my many many jobs!
Some days I look around and I see a mess, there are crunchy things on the floor of the dining area, there is some new coloring on some fabric or some wood furniture with permanent pen. There are sticky spots on the hardwood floor, and greasy fingerprints all over the french doors. There is mud on the hallway carpet in the shape of rainboots, and clothes of various types everywhere, tossed off from being too wet, or muddy or itchy or the wrong color or just because it is now time to be a princess. But when I step away from my role as unpaid maid and housemanager slash nanny slash gardener slash... you get the idea, when I step away from all that and see the remains, the signs of life from four very active and usually happy young children, all the sticky handprints become something more valuable than gold, the muddy rainboots better than any stocks I could own and the couch that has I heart you written in green pen more comfy than any brand new white leather couch... ok who am I kidding I want that couch. Anyway! the point is that the mess is the by-product of love and I wouldn't change that for the world!
Now I better get going and pick up Juniper from her pre-school and then come home and get to cooking and cleaning because those are just a couple of my many many jobs!
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Life, death and diamonds
One good thing about being a mom is that you can't buy into all the end of the world banter, because if you did you would have to be huddled in a cave some 30 feet underground with a years supply of goldfish crackers, water and sippy cups.
We have the instinct to protect our children from immediate or perceived danger but what are we to do with all of this apocalypse nonsense? Well, it does make me reflect momentarily (read panic attack in the middle of the night) on mortality and death. My mom says "no one makes it out alive" and that is the truth, but yet many of us are afraid of going too early, or not making a meaningful difference in the world, or simply being forgotten.... forever. Why does this feeling of mortality grip us? Why are we sad for the inevitable future that will certainly exist without us? Do we mourn for the eternity of time before we were born?
Last night I had an image of our lives as a necklace, the beads are the years we are alive and the quality of them is determined by the way we live and how we interact with the world. There is chain on one side of the beads to represent the unending time before we came to existence, and the other side of the chain represents the eternity of time after death, and eventually they come together to make a circle. It's not that I believe that we will come back again, but almost like we were always here and always will be, and our beautiful beads (the years of our life) are the sparkle of the necklace, and what makes it special and unique.
We cannot control when we are born, and have almost as little control over when we die, but we can say kind words instead of angry ones, we can give instead of take, we can create instead of consume, and we can take each step of every day with the intention of polishing those beads of our life until they shine like stars. Imagine the chain of a beautiful baby who only lived one year, but that one year is a diamond, clear and bright, and singly beautiful. That short life still has the same length of chain but instead of many different beads, it just has the one perfect diamond.
So.... if my husband ever decides he wants to buy me a beautiful diamond necklace with one perfect diamond, it will always make me think of each tiny life we have created, including the one who never made it out of the fallopian tube... a life in the blink of an eye.
We have the instinct to protect our children from immediate or perceived danger but what are we to do with all of this apocalypse nonsense? Well, it does make me reflect momentarily (read panic attack in the middle of the night) on mortality and death. My mom says "no one makes it out alive" and that is the truth, but yet many of us are afraid of going too early, or not making a meaningful difference in the world, or simply being forgotten.... forever. Why does this feeling of mortality grip us? Why are we sad for the inevitable future that will certainly exist without us? Do we mourn for the eternity of time before we were born?
Last night I had an image of our lives as a necklace, the beads are the years we are alive and the quality of them is determined by the way we live and how we interact with the world. There is chain on one side of the beads to represent the unending time before we came to existence, and the other side of the chain represents the eternity of time after death, and eventually they come together to make a circle. It's not that I believe that we will come back again, but almost like we were always here and always will be, and our beautiful beads (the years of our life) are the sparkle of the necklace, and what makes it special and unique.
We cannot control when we are born, and have almost as little control over when we die, but we can say kind words instead of angry ones, we can give instead of take, we can create instead of consume, and we can take each step of every day with the intention of polishing those beads of our life until they shine like stars. Imagine the chain of a beautiful baby who only lived one year, but that one year is a diamond, clear and bright, and singly beautiful. That short life still has the same length of chain but instead of many different beads, it just has the one perfect diamond.
So.... if my husband ever decides he wants to buy me a beautiful diamond necklace with one perfect diamond, it will always make me think of each tiny life we have created, including the one who never made it out of the fallopian tube... a life in the blink of an eye.
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