So it seems that as all professions have their specific rewards they also have what are referred to as occupational hazards, parenthood is no exception, the difficulty perhaps is in choosing just one or two to highlight. So I will begin with my own laundry list of complaints:
#1 weak bladder: (don't even get me started on the trampoline) Sorry to start with this one but we all know it's true. I just remember thinking how wonderful it would be to not be pregnant anymore just so that I didn't have to wear a pad in case of accidents and walk around with wet peed on pants after every time I sneezed or worse puked which was always a daily occurance for me. One OB visit had me feeling more like the baby than expectant mother with my hair smelling of barf and my sweatshirt tied around my waist to cover the giant wet spot from when I peed while puking in the parking lot on my way in. Irony not lost on me.
#2 used to be nice but not so much anymore...
When I was a nanny, babysitter, camp counselor, preschool teacher, student teacher, substitute teacher, friend, auntie... I was sooo nice, patient, fun, creative, punctual, tidy, put together, calm, cheerful, and loving. I am still loving to a fault but sometimes that love is hidden by a fire breathing dragon who spits words through clenched teeth while taking loud deep breaths in order to keep from going ballistic and destroying everything in it's path.
#3 Plantar faciitus: it's even annoying to spell! this bugger entered my life not long after the birth of my third child who I carried all the time after being barefoot and pregnant on a tile floor, combine this with super high arches and it's a recipe for disaster. This problem was a dual killer to me as it caused me unbearable pain and eliminated my quick and dirty form of exercise of jogging which had helped me get back into my old clothes from the past pregnancies. I have finally gotten some arch
supports now this year but I contend that my arches got me pregnant. I had this conviction that it was because of my IUD that I had this leg and foot pain so I got it removed. I was in so much pain that I was ready to risk pregnancy in order to heal my heel! Well two more kids later I now know it was the damn high arches! So the girls can thank my paranoia and high arches for their time on earth.
#4 Carpell tunnell syndrome: by the way I do not care if I spell this crap wrong because I am mad that I have it and I don't want to respect it enough to go and look it up and make sure that I spelled it's stupid name right. I want it out of my life!! My arms and hands hurt and I have been now reduced to wearing braces on one or both which makes me look like a bodybuilder or I am trying on my MJ costume a little too early. So I figured out that the reason my wrist felt like it was dislocated and there were shooting pains up my arm was from holding the babies in one arm. I tend to cock my wrist and support much of the child's weight in the crux of my wrist, which was mostly unconscious but also necessary because I would often have one in each arm so I couldn't support the weight with my other arm. I am now being more careful because even small tasks like sweeping and wiping bottoms (which are non-negotiable parts of a job I can't take time off from or quit...) were becoming more and more painful. I couldn't wash dishes, fold laundry, wipe counters, spray cleaners, lift crying toddlers, escort unruly six year olds to time out, attend to Jasper's needs and buckles and straps, or even pull up the covers without feeling like my wrists were very vunerable to injury and pain. I guess I never realized that being a mommy is all in the wrist!
All of these ailments can be helped by eating right, getting regular exercise, daily meditation, stretching and yoga, and getting plenty of sleep. Hahahaha I'm laughing so hard I fell off my chair!
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